Wednesday, November 25, 2009

25.11.2009

I’m alive.
Really.
Been ages since I’ve given even a thought about posting in here. True, I used to visit some blogs now and then, yeah mostly the same old ones – Random Thoughts, Passing Clouds, Vyazz Sez, Awakening, Dried Pages, Salman’s, many random others (too many to list out), wagera wagera, just for the hell of it. But never gave a thought about posting in my pathetic blog. I mean, not that there are actually people on tenterhooks to see my post or anything.
I’m just bragging. And another thing is, reading such wonderful blogs doesn’t help much either. In the sense you feel yourself comparing to them and feeling stupid and all. etc etc.
Basically what I meant to say was that I was non-existent for some time, here I am again, trying to prove a point, something like that I’m alive.

So one fine day, last week, I went to see the most anticipated Malayalam movie of the year, Pazhassi Raja. I was looking forward to see this one not because it has been making headlines ever since it was announced, but like many others, I was just curious to see what M.T. Vasudevan Nair, a personality whom I admire greatly, who had penned the script and dialogues for the film had to offer this time. And of course there are many other big names in the Credits roll, like the music maestro Ilaiyaraja, Academy Award-winning sound designer Resul Pookutty etc etc.
I had waited a little more than two weeks to see the film with a normal audience, I mean, for the fan buzz to get over. Anyways, the theatre was packed to capacity, quite contrary to what I expected on a hot Saturday afternoon.
Okay, I watched the movie, and needless to say, I liked it. Very much.
I am not reviewing the film or anything, because I am not a serious movie buff, or someone who is really well-versed with this art form or anything. But the urge to post something (– anything) in my blog combined with my creatively challenged state leaves me with the option of sharing what I felt about the movie now.

A lot of my pals who saw the film told me that the Tamil actor, Sarath Kumar, who enacted the role of Edachena Kunkan, Pazhassi Raja’s Chief Commandant stole the show from him. I don’t know why there was this sentiment, because Mammootty as Pazhassi Raja was nothing short of brilliant too. It was relieving to see that Pazhassi was portrayed just naturally – in the sense there was no super-human traits that I expected to see. Well, there was the part when he takes down a dozen or more of the enemy soldiers all by himself, but at that moment I didn’t notice the slight unrealism of it because I personally wanted to avenge the death of Thalakkal Chandu at the moment. And there were some good scenes where I think Mammootty’s acting prowess came to the fore – like the one in which when he comes to know of the premature death of his child, and especially the scenes when he is moved by the loyalty shown by his mates to him. The pride, the defiance, the helplessness, it was all there. (You wont believe it’s the same actor who had just did some mindless comic capers, flew around as an elf, ) The ensemble cast worked well too. Performances deserving special mention were those of the characters such as Edachena Kunkan, the resolute, tough army-chief with his touching and unwavering loyalty to his King, Thalakkal Chandu, the staunch and loyal tribal warrior with his heroics, Kaitheri Ambu, another of Pazhassi’s commandants, Neeli - with the tribal lingo and all, as well as her own share of heroics too. They shared most of the applause between themselves. Talking of performances, personally, I think that the English crew looked stupid - in particular, the Assistant Collector guy. He had that under-severe-constipation-attack expression throughout his role. The only times I think I remember Mr. Grumpy Face with a significantly different expression were in a couple of scenes - interestingly, both scenes had one common factor – liquor. First one when he is having the late night drink party with the traitors and when he is bribing the tribal chief with the gold bangle and the whisky bottle - He actually laughed then.

But the highlight of the film according to me, apart from the performances, was the sound. You’ve got to give it to this man who’ve worked behind the sound – the Academy Award winning Resul Pookkutty. Before this guy won an Oscar for it, many of us didn’t even acknowledge there was a department called Sound Design in the making of a film. What we passed off as ‘noise’ is now actually being listened to as the ‘sound’ of the movie.
Sound-wise, there was attention to every fine detail and that added lots to the new realistic feel - the brandishing of a knife, the ‘boom boom’ of the gunshots, the locking of swords, bow and arrow (even the stretching of the bow), the swish of the sword, the horses’ hooves, the marching of soldiers, the rustle of leaves in the forest, even the spilling of blood on ground, Pazhassi’s final breath etc etc. But what I happened to notice was that the sounds were not just picked up and amplified well for us to hear, but they were used cleverly and aesthetically. For instance, in the first war scene, when Neeli gets injured, her fiancĂ©e, Thalakkal Chandu rushes to her rescue. At this point, all other sounds were made to sound like from somewhere distant, and the sound from them was prominent. This was somethingI found artistic, since at the particular juncture, the audience themselves are interested mainly about what happens to them. Which only shows a good sound design is also about knowing when to use your silences.

And then there were some beautiful frames throughout the movie. Some looked like they were taken straight out of a wallpaper or something. Like the one in which Pazhassi performs his ablutions in the lake with his horse idling on the grass, the first war sequence, the reflections in water, the beach scene in which Edachena Kunkan is approaching on his horse, the frame in which Pazhassi watches the British camp on fire with the full moon in background, the one in which Pazhassi is heading for his final encounter, with the mountains as the backdrop, Thalakkal Chandu spitting in the face of the traitor, etc etc.

This was a movie whose plot gave a lot of scope for dialogues. Thankfully, I felt that none of it was overdone. And there were some pretty good ones too.
My picks would be the one in which Pazhassi reprimands his nephews when they get emotional by saying, “Cry if you may, not for me, but for this unfortunate land..”, again something from the same scene, in his last redoubt, “There is a shadow that’s with us from the day we’re born. One fine day, it comes in front of us and faces us- that’s death”, “No, I wont kill you, lest the spilling of your blood may make my soil impure” etc.

The songs were okay, but I liked the background music more, especially the ones of the sort we hear in Hollywood movies – with the Orchestra and all. Special ones for me would be the background music when they show Pazhassi appears for the first time, the one when they show Pazhassi’s throne, the whole of it in the first war sequence in the forest and so on. The costumes were good too. Another commendable part, say excellent, was the promos and trailers.

On a very personal note, I felt they could have taken the film on an even larger scale, in the sense, take for instance the case of Pazhassi’s Fort and his army. When you say fort, you wont imagine just a big house, isn’t it? And when we say army, we do expect something greater in number than a 1000 soldiers, but in this case too, the army was shown as just a group of 400-500 men at most. Perhaps this was the case historically, but still, I feel they could have made it on a greater scale. Okay, I do understand that there is a limitation on the budget for a Malayalam film - But still…

A friend of mine, on being asked upon his review, had told me, “Well, its no Troy, or Braveheart, or Gladiator, but still, ok”. The guy went to see a Malayalam movie, and expected a Troy – this is not fair. You need to see the plethora of other contemporary crap that they call cinema and feed you to really appreciate this one. I don’t go and see every mallu movie released, and I am not a serious movie buff either, so I cannot say with authenticity, but still I hope that the well-wisher of good cinema here will agree with me if I say that 95% of the stuff that they churn out are nothing but CRAP. I am not trying to sound condescending or arrogant, or as my friend did, comparing our industry to Hollywood or anything, I am just saying what I honestly feel.

I liked Pazhassi Raja, because it was, well, a good movie, a decent, sincere and bold effort.
Because it adopted standards and ventured into territories new to Malayalam cinema scene.

Bravo!
Highly recommended.

P.S:
It was about fighting the British for our motherland and all, and I must say it rekindled the patriotic spirit in me, but someone took it a tad too seriously.

And started with a new mode of warfare against the British.
This one’s an American tactic - Cultural attack.
On their language, to start with.
How else do I explain the following hoarding?

- r a m z.




Tuesday, September 22, 2009

video

Saturday, May 23, 2009

23.05.2009

Gone.

Not forever, but still, almost…

Why walk in, in the first place, if it was only to leave your footprints all over?

I could trade off

All those funny, crazy, silly, and therefore, happy moments,

The lovely evenings,

Everything,

For the sadness that was left behind by the departure.

We think we are happy, perfect the way we’re doing, the way it had been always, that we do not need anyone/anything more and that there is no more space in our scheme of things for anyone else new. Until when someone enters your life, mark their place, linger for a while, make a mark, makes you wonder how you managed without them till now and leaves eventually, only to leave behind a void that cannot be filled. At the end of day, when you recline and think of it all from a strange perspective, all your life is just some holes woven together as in a fishing net.

I know its weird, but sometimes I feel that all of ours lives is one big painting, credited to a large number of artists – the people who come across in our life and leave eventually, all of them contributing a brush stroke, or more – there may be some dark shades as well, but in overall, they add to the beauty of the picture, and they highlight the bright shades as well. We too contribute to many paintings as well. So, to all those on whose canvas I’ll get/had already got a turn with the brush – I am a horrible artist, literally and otherwise, so I cant promise to make your painting a Monalisa, but I’ll try my best not to spill a colour, and to give it my best shot, I mean, best stroke. And to all those who will make my painting beautiful (hopefully) – I like shades of blue. Please be careful not to leave no smears all over.

So, see you when I see you next.

Note to self: (1) Never get too attached to anything.

                     (2) Be cold-hearted.        

- r a m z

Sunday, May 17, 2009

17.05.2009

Been in a dormant mode for quite some time, and was enjoying every bit of it, but the urgent reason that made me post something was that I wanted to express something very urgently for a specific reason, lest I imploded and got killed.

So, in between, I met with (one very good friend of mine who is au fait with this language thing termed it ‘dating’) a couple of accidents, missed another couple by a hair, etc. All these had left their tokens upon me, the most pronounced of them being a small scar on my face. – But, pretty small price one has to pay for his life, I would say if you ask me.

So I’m alive, and things have not been advancing very well on many fronts, including personal. - bad, actually. Emosanal attyachar. You know, the same when there comes that recurring phase in your life when it decides to show you a dirty face.

Did anyone just smirk at that?

Oh, ok, I know my problems are not as big, I mean not even comparable to that of the hungry Somalian child or a war-inflicted tamils in Lanka or the like, but weighing them on the global scale is not fair. In the big scheme of things my personal and miscellaneous conflicts may be a joke, but everyone has their own problems right? You see, I am a person who believes that money is almost The Everything in this world, and I am told that even the richest man has his share of woes too. So, my problems, how trivial they may seem from a Google-Earth point of view, they are still problems to me. And God, please don’t think I am an ungrateful pig who should be thanking you for all that you’ve given me rather than moaning. I do acknowledge them, and you know it too, but I would have done happier without these.

But … but, God is truly great. No, it would have been unfair of Him not to give me at least something to feel happy about. Like at least one gulp of water after too many gooseberries?

And that is exactly what I wanted to reflect so badly in here.

This is from the opening page of ‘You Are Here’ by Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan, the Compulsive Confessor.

“…but I know that the words are collecting at the tips of my fingers and that if I don’t shake them out over the keyboard they could go backwards and form word clots around my heart. Word clots are worse than blood clots- because blood clots more or less kill you as soon as they reach a vital area in your body, but word clots just say, occasionally giving you heartburn with all the things you could have said but didn’t.”

I can’t put that more clearly in my own words.


The point is, something infinitely beautiful happened to me.

I became the most contented and ecstatic loser on Planet Earth for sometime.

There occurs some Kodak moments for everyone in their life, even for no-hopers, which we capture/videotape in our mind, and playback and playback and playback it. Forever. It was such a one for me.

I was in Elysium. Ya, really.

Pure joie-de-vivre.

I hardly slept the night. Oh really? Ya really.

To be infiltrated by happiness, in such measure too, at this point of a time is so heavenly.

I even smiled, and beatific ones too, like angels in paintings do.

It felt so good and blessed to be happy, finally.

I was kicked out of the Shangri-La pretty damn quick, but I savoured every millisecond of it.

Its all passed now, for such large scale happiness is always evanescent, but I was still basking in the afterglow.

Ho..! See, I know I didn’t make any sense, but its so relieving to finally unburden myself.

And now I’m back in that old dirty little puddle again, hoping to get back to normalcy and Compos Mentis soon.

So,

See you when I see you


Ramz.

Monday, April 20, 2009

I'm taking a sabbatical from... being me.
Bye.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

14.04.09


She’s become less fat, but pretty and cute all the same…
She now speaks her own queer language. Our efforts to teach her basic Malayalam are not quite working, I must say. Sometimes I feel she is trying to teach us her lingo…
Anything remotely male is ‘baba’ or ‘mama’ to her…
She attends phone calls now…
Any dress looks beautiful on her. When we make praising comments about her attire, in a typically girlish gesture, she looks all over herself once again, satisfied and smiling, and feels her outfit with her small hands all over again…
Animals and birds fascinate her. She can call a cat (Its “Pootha” instead of “Poocha”) and chicken (which goes something like “Ba Ba...”). And she can distinguish between a real cat meowing and imitated cat calls. (Owing to my poor mimicry skills, perhaps)…
Music and sweets make her dance…
She has her own likes and dislikes now…
She knows if someone’s going out and starts a whimpering sort of pleading to take her too. I don’t exactly know how she deduces this out, but I guess she has her own signals that indicate this – like, in her and my moms’ case, gazing into mirror for a long time, and in my case, when I am seen combing my hair or with the perfume bottle…
One way to make her laugh is to try scaring her. I put on my best horrible face (those who’ve seen my normal face can imagine the effect when I distort it :)) and a growling noise too, for an effect yesterday evening, but she laughed uncontrollably…
She brings out the lighter side of everyone at home, even mine…
Moreover,
She infuses life into our home.
...
ramz

Saturday, April 11, 2009

11.04.09

Dad,
I am really sorry for
- Sleeping everyday after the Morning Prayer, a habit you just hate.
- Letting my pants too below the permissible ankle level.
- Not being systematic in my life.
- Getting scared when I face you.
- My individuality crisis.
- Not looking into your eyes while I speak to you (if at all I do)
- Not joining in the laughter at your jokes.
- Skipping the mass prayer in the mosque too many times.
- Not knowing how to socialize.
- Making impatient gestures when you advise me for good.
- Being so unimportant a person for your son.
- Never looking behind the anger in your words to see the love beyond.
- Never living up to your expectations.
- Making you buy textbooks which I didn’t read fully even once.
- Always forgetting to turn off the lights in my bathroom.
- Using my bed as a laundry dump.
- Keeping my studying (?) table a complete mess.
- Stuffing my dress wardrobe such that everything pops out for their dear lives when you open it.
- Drinking too many Pepsis.
- Locking my room from the inside, again something you loathe to the core.
- Always pocketing the change when you send me on errands.
- Reading while eating.
- Still getting myself fed with hand by my grandma.
- Not going out for morning walks.
- Setting a very bad example for my siblings.
- Sleeping out my holidays (as well as working days)
- Not giving you any "Thats my Boy!" moments.
- Bunking classes.
- My strange dressing styles and weird color sense.
- Always forgetting to take my driving license when I go out.
- Never even caring about my disheveled hair.
- My attitude problem.
- The lack of organization and planning in life.
- Not ever being much of a high-flier in life, for your son.
- Not being understanding.
- Not having a goal all through my life so far.
- Not being someone you can be proud of.
- My forever-lethargic approach.
- …
- …
- …
There are many more.

I’d have better told you my apologies right to your face, like a true son of yours, but Dad, when have I ever bucked up the courage to string up more than 4 sentences while talking to you?

I just wanted you to know that, quite contrary to what you may think, you are my role model in life.
I revere you, Dad.
I am again, sorry that I couldn’t inherit that legacy of yours which made you, what to say, ideal.
You set such high standards for a weak individual like me to follow, Dad. Yet, I am trying because …
… I love you.



...
ramz